03 May 2007

The D word (Part 1)

DIABETES is a disease in which the body does not produce or properly use insulin. (www.diabetes.org).

My mom is a diabetic. All I know is that she got diabetes when she gave birth or was pregnant with my younger sister. That was 31 years ago. I knew she had it but wasn't aware of the consequences if not controlled. I had always thought that she was fine because of all the medicines she was taking. And that I was sure that she goes to her doctor at her company clinic for check up.

After her early retirement 10 years ago, I always thought she was okay, she did social work with the women in our community (she was president) and was able to put up a family business (M1B2S). She and my uncle would accept contracts as a supplier. They would advance the payment and wait for the client to pay up (usually took months). She had also acquired a farm somewhere in Tanay and had planned to develop it as a weekend getaway for us.

But there have been times that she would not feel well and we would have to take her to the hospital. One time, the reason why she wasn't feeling well was that she had not been taking her medicines for sometime and did not tell us about it. We had to "scold" her. That she should tell us if her medicines had already ran out or if she needs or wants something.

Now, after her heart attack 2 years ago, I feel I should have been more vigilant. I should have been more aware of what was happening to her or what she was feeling. I regret not having gotten her a medical insurance in the company I work for so I don't have to think twice if my siblings and I have the money to pay every time she has to be rushed to the hospital or have a check up with her doctors or if she needs to buy medicines.

She started dialysis a month ago, every thursdays at the dialysis center near our place. I think she's gaining weight which is good. She had a few hypoglycemic episodes the past few days, so we had to go to her endocrinologist. So now instead of 12"u" of insulin in the morning (before breakfast), we need to take her blood sugar before each meal. If her blood sugar is below 100 mg/dl, no need for insulin. But if its 100 mg/dl and above, we need to inject 3"u". Our good doctor explained to us that since the blood is being cleaned during dialysis, her blood sugar would be affected, making her blood sugar almost normal. But if continously given insulin, her blood sugar will obviously go down the normal level.

In a nutshell, I don't want to keep on regretting things that I should have done in the past. The past is past. No use sulking or whining about it. Live for the present. I don't want others to pity what we have gone through. I would rather want to think about it as a learning experience that I could share with my friends, for them to share to people who're closest to their hearts.

There are still some things to be grateful about. I thank God that everytime my mom needs to be hospitalized and we need a big amount of money, it would always fall near my bonus. God is good.

You know, I pray to God to give us more strength and give us even more faith in HIM. I keep hoping and praying for a miracle that my mom gets well soon.

God may not always answer us, but in His time -- and His idea of time is not the same as ours -- He always does.

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